Two ebony chicks in one day! Well I would like to apologize for that Serena Williams post I made earlier so here’s hiphop singer slash P.Diddy’s sideline hoe in a bikini at the beach to hopefully make up for it. Unlike Serena’s humongous badonkadonk, this half Black-half Filipino chick has got a flat ass but she looks pretty sexy in her skimpy bikini so I’d hit it!

Ever since Salma Hayek got hitched and spouted a baby, her hoe game has been a little bland. Same thing goes to Mexican hotties like Jessica Alba and Eva Mendes, they’ve quit the pussy peddling business to early which left us with freakin blue balls. Thankfully though, Salma Hayek’s tits think is far from over, so here they are making their way into the spotlight again. Slowly but surely my friends, slowly but surely.

I guess I have been complaining too much of seeing horrifying body shapes on a woman after seeing Coco in a bikini yesterday but nothing could prepare me to see something even more terrifying than Serena William’s monstrosity of a body in a bikini at the beach today! It’s like she’s some kind of lab experiment that’s supposed to be a rhino but somebody accidentally slipped in the human genes and created this! Dayum…she makes Coco look so fuckin’ dainty next to her.

I bet when Miley Cyrus was standing infront of her closet before she went to hit the club she was visualizing a $10 under-aged alleyway hooker who gives blowj’s at the back of a car. Well, that visual materialized last Friday night when Miley showed at the Hollwood club Voyeur looking like one. I’m not saying the carpark bj happened but let’s hope not, for that pedo bastard’s sake.

Got dayum mama! Look at the girth on Coco’s ass. It’s one of the mysteries in life, this blonde MILF’s badonkadonk. I wonder if Ice-T uses a forklift on his wife’s ass everytime he tries to pull his wang out. That shit is some kind of monstrosity and shouldn’t be handled by the faint hearted.

This is what that trailer trash singer Ke$ha would look like when she’s 50, and that’s kind of a compliment actually. Courtney Love took a break from her skankery to post a pic of herself in Twitter wearing nothing but her panties. She looks fuckable to me in this shot, probably because her face is all blurry.

Today’s a day of mourning fellas because Heidi Klum has decided to quit Victoria’s Secret for good! I know…tragic right. She’s actually one of my favorite supermodel of all time. Now, we’re not sure if we will ever see Heidi Klum naked. Boo fucking hoo. If you’ll excuse me while I console my weiner from weeping!

Here’s a sweaty and cleavagey Ashley Greene after hitting the gym yesterday and I’m surprised her BFF slash fake boyfriend Joe Jonas is not around, probably stuck at home playing with her vibrator. Anywa, these leaves us plenty of time to ogle Ashley Green’s tits without a distraction. Enjoy fellas!

Here’s Victoria Silvstedt prepping up for our wild and beastly sex romp tonight. Look at how flexible she is. Damn, I’m humpin’ a human pretzel tonight. The paps probably went there and pretended they were dead branches ‘coz they managed to get this blonde bombshell’s crotch shot.

Add this Chelsea Handler sextape screens to your potential spank bank because some bitches are saying it’s scheduled to be released pretty soon.  Seen here is the talk show host/stand-up comedian completely naked and on all fours getting ploughed by some lucky bastard. And now we play the waiting game…